Monday, July 17, 2017


I have so many pictures on my phone of this kid sleeping, but she is just so darn cute when she sleeps.

If you know me and Josh, you know we are basically 90. We usually get in bed around 8 every night and watch tv or read. I usually go to bed first and Josh will follow soon after. 

Before we had kids I was always worried that I would end up with a kid who hated sleep. I know those kids are out there and to parents of those children...I pray for you and I praise you because you're doing it and still functioning in society. Bless you. 

But back to my kid...I was worried we would have a kid that screamed all night. Like, I pictured me in the nursery, bouncing a screaming child for 8 hours straight, while crying desperately myself saying "please just go to sleep". Now I get it that generally babies don't cry for 8 hours straight...but that's what I pictured. 

When Olivia was born and hooked up to all her IV's she was pretty sluggish and was basically impossible to wake up. Not lying. Even the nurses were blown away by how legit asleep she was. I didn't consider myself lucky quite yet though. I thought, "as soon as I get this kid home she's never going to sleep again...."

For the first week we were home from the hospital I set an alarm for every 2 hours so I would wake up to feed her per hospital instructions. I quickly realized that was stupid and I should just let her wake up naturally...which she did. She was on a 3 hour schedule...not a 2 hour one like the hospital tried to enforce. Slowly but surely she got on her own little routine of two feedings per night. Once she got a little older she went down to one feeding at night and an early feeding in the morning. 

Let me tell y'all, I LOVE my early morning feeding with her. I didn't think I would. I seriously pictured myself being a zombie mom just dreading waking up for feedings. But it is surprisingly calming. I mean yes, there are times where I wake up to her fussing and look at my watch and groan because I felt like I had just gone back to sleep between when she went back to sleep last time. But overall she gives good stretches between feedings. But those early morning feedings. I love them.

I have a 5AM rule. We don't co-sleep. Nothing against it, we just don't do it. But if she wakes up after 5AM and doesn't immediately go back to sleep after eating then I put her in bed with us. I did this one morning out of desperation for just a little more sleep, but I found that lying next to her made her super snuggly (she's not really a snuggle/cuddle baby...she likes to stretch and see the world). I get so excited for that time of snuggles together. 

So anytime after 5AM, if she doesn't go right back to sleep after eating, she gets to come to the big bed. She loves it and I love it. I wake up smiling every morning that I get to wake up next to this little blessing. 

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Pavlov's Pecan Roll

I have a degree in Educational Psychology with an emphasis in Child Psychology. In school they drill into your head all the different theories and Psychologists who did studies trying to learn behavior patterns.

One of the most talked about and one of my favorite experiments was Pavlov's Dogs. 

If you don't know this experiment, let me tell you! Ivan Pavlov had these dogs. He put them in kennels and right before he would feed them he would ring a bell. He tested how much saliva was in the dog's mouth each time he rang the bell and fed them. Eventually the dogs learned to associate the bell with food. So Pavlov would ring the bell and the dogs would instantly begin to salivate because they knew food was coming. You can also read about John. B Watson and poor "Little Albert" once these experiments were tested on children.

Anyway, the point of my story.

Deep down, I'm a very weird and sentimental person. I remember the strangest things and hold on to the oddest memories. 

Over Easter weekend, while I was in the hospital having Olivia, my mom brought me several packs of these pecan rolls shaped like Easter eggs. I LOVE pecan rolls but I never remember that I love them until I go into a Cracker Barrel. However, they are crazy expensive in Cracker Barrel so I never buy them.

Mom had somehow found like 20 of these and I have been slowly enjoying them over the last 2 months.

Today, I ate my last one. Eating my last one triggers a Pavlovian response of all my memories from the hospital. It makes me sad because these Pecan Rolls are what I specifically remember eating in the hospital in the middle of the night while I was holding my brand new baby girl.

Now my big girl is 2 months old. As odd as it is, I miss the calm of being in the hospital. I miss sitting in bed and having Josh in the bed next to me 24/7. I miss hearing the little plastic bassinet being rolled down the hallway towards me and getting so excited because they were bringing me my baby girl! I miss my nurses constantly checking on me to make sure I was doing ok. I miss the immediately relief of not being pregnant anymore. I miss the texts and calls from my friends being so excited Olivia was finally here. I miss my family being 10 minutes down the road, especially my mom. I miss the look of pride and admiration my husband gave me when he was helping me out of the hospital bed so that I could go to the bathroom. I miss the newness and excitement to start a new phase of life.

All these deep thoughts came back today when I pulled this Pecan Roll out of the cookie jar and realized it was my last one.